My Haven for Thoughts

How abnormal am I?

2006-04-25T10:24:00.000-04:00

You Are 44% Abnormal

You are at medium risk for being a psychopath. It is somewhat likely that you have no soul.

You are at medium risk for having a borderline personality. It is somewhat likely that you are a chaotic mess.

You are at medium risk for having a narcissistic personality. It is somewhat likely that you are in love with your own reflection.

You are at low risk for having a social phobia. It is unlikely that you feel most comfortable in your mom's basement.

You are at low risk for obsessive compulsive disorder. It is unlikely that you are addicted to hand sanitizer.

How Abnormal Are You?

Keys to my heart...

2006-04-25T10:22:00.000-04:00

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

At what price would I sell out?

2006-04-25T10:20:00.000-04:00

On Average, You Would Sell Out For

$278,556

At What Price Would You Sell Out?

How do people see me?

2006-04-25T10:17:00.000-04:00

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.

They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.

It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.

They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

What element is my love?

2006-04-25T10:14:00.000-04:00

Your Love Element Is Water

In love, you connect deeply and commit totally.
For you, love is all about taking risks and moving into unknown territory.

You attract others with courage and confidence.
Your flirting style is defined by your flexibility and ability to adapt.

Nurturing and shared learning are the cornerstones of your love life.
And while you may jump in to love too quickly, you always come out the wiser for it.

You connect best with: Metal

Avoid: Earth

You And another Water element: will pull each other down into a dark place

What Element Is Your Love?

What kind of drunk am i?

2005-10-20T09:50:00.000-04:00

You're A Passed Out Drunk

Drinking gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, until you're thrown in the back of a police car...

What Kind of Drunk Are You?

How observant am I?

2005-10-20T09:43:00.000-04:00

Hardly anything gets by you...
You have a great memory and eagle eyes

How Observant Are You?

Pretty accurate, oh

2005-10-20T09:39:00.000-04:00

You Are 22 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

How weird am i?

2005-10-20T09:33:00.000-04:00

You Are 20% Weird

Not enough to scare other people...
But sometimes you scare yourself.

How Weird Are You?

My japanese name...

2005-10-20T09:32:00.000-04:00

Your Japanese Name Is...

Tamasine Tanaka

What's your Japanese Name?

Marriage, me????

2005-10-20T09:30:00.000-04:00

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want.
And that's marriage - with the right person.
You're serious about settling down some time soon.
Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

My personality

2005-10-20T09:22:00.000-04:00

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable.
You tend to blend into your surroundings.
Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends.

You believe that you live a virtuous life...
And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye.
As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

DAMN I look GOOD!

2005-10-03T15:07:00.000-04:00

Need I say more? HAHAHA.

What my birthday says about me...

2005-09-28T15:08:00.000-04:00

Your Birthdate: September 23

With a birthday on the 23rd of the month (5 energy) you are inclined to work well with people and enjoy them.
You are talented and versatile, very good at presenting ideas.
You may have a tendency to get itchy feet at times and need change and travel.

You tend to be very progressive, imaginative and adaptable.
Your mind is quick, clever and analytical.
A restlessness in your nature may make you a bit impatient and easily bored with routine.
You may have a tendency to shirk responsibility.
Very sociable, you make friends easily and you are an excellent traveling companion.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Mood: Relaxed

2005-09-28T13:09:00.000-04:00

It's been couple days since I've had the chance to update my blog. Now that I'm done with my counts for this bi-week, I'm really chill. I wished this thing had smiley faces like the ones you find on Xanga. But oh well, you can't really ask for too much. So, what's new? To tell you the truth, nothing much has happened. I've just been going back and forth from/to work and that's about it. I went to the dentist yesterday and they told me that I needed two crowns put in and that sucked. I thought it was going to cost at max. $500, but nooooooo, I saw a bill for $2500!!!!! I was like, WTF???? So yeah, aside from that...I'm doing pretty well. I'm contemplating at getting dental insurance and/or fly to CA or somewhere remote. I don't want to pay $2500 to get my teeth fixed, I think it's just a freaking rip-off! In other news, I'm feeling a lot better these days, happier, liberated, and content with my life. I live life as if I didn't owe anyone anything and that's good. Rachana is still waiting on an answer from me and I guess I'll deliver it soon enough, within couple days perhaps. I don't know. It's hard to take a decision where you know so much is at stake. I saw a talk show (yes, I watch talk shows) yesterday on TV and the topic was: "Afraid of commitment?" and it was basically a bunch of men who were in long relationships and were afraid to commit. They're basically sitting on the fence as long as they possibly can. Some did commit, others walked away, but bottom line is that I could see myself watching them. I think I'm afraid of commitment. Not to say that I'd cheat if I were in a relationship, but comitting yourself to ONE person for the rest of your life is scary, no? Maybe not to some people, but there are so many things that I have to worry about (i.e. getting my teeth fixed, LOL) no, seriously, I have a career that I want to develop, I want to travel around the world, I want to go to law school, I want to see what options there are out there. And I feel sometimes being in relationship doesn't help any of that. I woke up late this morning (again) and I had to drive to work. Gosh, traffic is hideous here. Even when I came home last night at 8pm, there was traffic on I-66. They didn't even open the extra lane to the right, that's stupid. Whoever has the authority to switch the flip back and forth is really stupid. When there's traffic/accident, open the damn extra lane, it'd ease congestion. Arghhh, stupid people anger me. Alright, well, that's about it in my life. I should get some work done for fear that they'll fire me. Laterz.

Love is...Aching

2005-09-22T12:50:00.001-04:00

Wow, what have I done??? I am feeling so bluah right now. Trying to figure out my situation is something I wished I never had to do. In a perfect world, you just boy/girl meet, boy/girl fall in love, and boy/girl live happily ever after. My feelings have changed over time and I don't know how to express them exactly. After last night's conversation, I feel like there's a hole inside of me....something that's missing, something that's not quite right. It really hurts to be the source of someone else's grief and sorrow. However, which is best? To be in a relationship where one party is not 100% there? Or to go on, fearing that the other one will get hurt? I figured that it was not in anyone's interest to be in the former situation. I don't know, I love her a lot, but it's not like it used to be. I hate having to interpret my feelings, I wish there was one simple path I could walk on and be feeling content through it all. How come it has to be so difficult? For the first time in my life, I feel like there is no way out. She's perhaps the one that understands me the most, that is literally willing to give me her life, to give up everything that she owns so we can be together. She's willing to change her own identity to suit my likes/dislikes. But why can't I imagine doing to same? I feel like there are so many guys out there that can make her happy... But she chose me... I can remember all the times that we've had, good and bad, and thankfully, it was 99% good. but why do i feel this way? i'm not interested in anyone else? do i feel trapped? do i feel unhappy? how can i change that? it's funny, i've been thinking of her fr the past 24 hrs, much longer than i have when we were together. is this a sign that i love her? i mean, i do, but is it enough to last forever? will my interests change? what is the root of the disconnection? arghh, i feel like i shouldn't have entered this relationship in the first place. but heck, i think all is worth the pain that i'm feeling now. we've had good times and those i will always remember. i've never connected with another person the way i connect with her, so why am i doing this? am i that shallow? i don't know... maybe it's because i liked the stability and i never had to worry about her cheating on me or ever doubting her love for me. will i ever find someone who loves me as much as she does? gosh, why does this have to be difficult, i hate it. someone help!!!!!!!!!!!!

Snort snort. Mood: Careless

2005-09-19T15:40:00.000-04:00

What's up peeps and dawgz??? Alright, I figured that I would update today because I have a little bit of free time whilst I break for 5 mins. Let's see, since the last time I updated my site, a lot has happened. Well, first, Rachana and I celebrated our 2 yrs anniversary in Philadelphia. It was fun, the hotel was alright (so so), and we got to chill with friends. Overall though, I had more fun in NYC during Spring Break. Philadelphia is a boring city I must say. We ate some really good dim-sum so that definitely made my day. We also went to Atlantic City, that was AWESOME! It got me hooked on gambling. I won $65 (on top of the $100 that I originally invested), so not too bad. It doesn't seem like much for people, but for an hour's worth of play, I wouldn't call it a bad start. I had a streak of luck, but of course that ended after couple rounds. I was down to my last $15 and then I went on this streak, then it quickly ended, then I stopped. It felt like a rush of cocaine (not that I do drugs or anything, I'm just saying). Then, I went down to Charlottesville last weekend. UVA definitely isn't the town that I got accustomed to for five (5) years. It was boring, it didn't have that *southern charm* feel anymore. We went to couple parties, but they basically all sucked. I don't know anyone anymore. Or maybe it's because I'm cheap. Hmmm.... In other news, I'm still looking for a car to buy. I'm exploring both ends of the spectrum: on one end, I'm considering a fuel efficient car (i.e. a honda civic or the likes) and on the other end, I'm considering a Lexus RX 300 AWD (LOVE this car!) So we'll see which one I'm bound to receive. I'll be happy either way, except I can't pimp in a Honda Civic, but what the heck. Aside from that, nothing much is going on, I think I missed my counts this morning, my primary didn't get in until 10:30am (everything is due at 11am) so after revisions, I turned in my last case at 11:30am. who knows? it may have been counted. alright, 5 minutes break is over, I shall update tomorrow. Tata.

Mood: Bored

2005-08-14T18:17:00.000-04:00

I'm bored and I saw this on Carolyn's website, so I thought I'd waste some time and do it, so that those of you who are eager to know more about me finally can.

--UNIQUE--
1. Nervous Habits? biting nails and/or fidgeting
2. Are you double jointed? no
3. Can you roll your tongue? no
4. Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? nope (but my gf can, does that count?)
5. Can you blow spit bubbles? no, i don't really know what this means actually
6. Can you cross your eyes? not really, used to see a doctor for it, but it didn't work.
7. Tattoos? no, thinking about getting two (2) soon though
8. Piercings and where? none
9. Do you make your bed daily? no, only if i'm good

--CLOTHES--
10. Which shoe goes on first? the left one
11. Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? not that i can recall
12. On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet? $0, i use my debit card (much safer)
13. What jewelry do you wear 24/7? none
14. Favorite piece of clothing? hmm, probably my jeans.

--FOOD--
15. Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? twirl, who cuts spaghetti??
16. Have you ever eaten Spam? yes, only in wartime though
17. Favorite ice cream flavor? coffee or rum raisin
18. How many cereals in your cabinet? two, coco puffs!
19. What's your favorite beverage? coffee or water, lately more like diet soda
20. What's your favorite restaurant? too many to mention
21. Do you cook? haha, nope

--GROOMING--
22. How often do you brush your teeth? twice a day, sometimes more depending on the need
23. Hair drying method? i don't really blow dry my hair unless i style it
24. Have you ever colored/highlighted your hair? no

--MANNERS--
25. Do you swear? sometimes...
26. Do you ever spit? yes, haha.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE--
27. Animal? dogs!
28. Food? too many to narrow down to one
29. Month? September!
30. Day? fridays
31. Cartoon? none that i can think of right now
32. Shoe Brand? banana republic (dress shoes) or adidas (sneakers)
33. Subject in school? Math (dork!)
34. Color? pink, sike! navy blue or hunter green
35. Sport? ski
36. TV show? Friends, of course!
37. Thing to do in the spring? beach
38. Thing to do in the summer? beach
19. Thing to do in the fall? celebrate my b-day, haha. and looking forward to the winter.
40. Thing to do in the winter? ski ski ski ski ski

--IN AND AROUND--
41. The CD player? I haven't used a CD player in sooo long. IPod kinda guy now.
42. Person you talk most on the phone with? My significant other(s)
43. Ever taken a cab? duh
44. Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows and mirrors? not really
45. What color is your bedroom? mocha, lol
46. Do you use an alarm clock? yes
47. Window seat or aisle? window seat. it's the best way to catch the scenery.

--LaLa Land--
48. What's your sleeping position? on the side probably
49. Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? yes, but it usually comes off at night
50. Do you snore? no, but I do talk in my sleep, scary, huh???
51. Do you sleepwalk? Hahaha, no.
52. Do you talk in your sleep? Yes, especially when i'm tired.
53. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? no
54. How about with the light on? no
55. Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? Yes

Can't Sleep

2005-05-12T03:09:00.000-04:00

Mood: Carefree

So it's 3:09 in the morning and I can't sleep. So, I decided to come to the computer and waste some more time. I slept in the afternoon because I wasn't feeling well. No, I'm not sick.... I'm taking this antibiotic (for undisclosed reasons) and if I eat it on an empty stomach, I get incredibly sick. So I slept it off...HAHAHA. I just noticed that this is only my 3rd blog. My last blog was so long ago I can barely recall my own screename and password. I like this better than xanga, except I do wish that there were some cool smiley faces. Oh well, I can live without them. I now am done with most of my finals. I have one coming up on Saturday and that will be my last one ever (at least, I hope so). I bound my thesis earlier in the afternoon and after turning it in, I suddenly got the graduation blues. All of sudden, this school that I have come to hate so much seemed all nice and cool. The scenery, the people, the community feel, I think I'm going to miss it, a LOT. It'll be really hard not to do what I want, when I want. It's hard to enter a world full of responsibilities when all you do at college is run away from responsibilities. At least, it was the case for me. Oh well, I promise that I will support this school and its community by purchasing a season pass for UVA Football. It was after all, my best time. My laptop is now officially useless. I tried to restart it many times in Clemons and to my embarassment, it kept emitting loud noises prompting everyone to look at me like I was some kind of alien. Oh well, I got home and it started working again. So maybe I can expand its use to couple more days. All I'm asking is couple more days until my last final. One thing is sure, the laptop doesn't like Clemons. It seems to be acting up whenever it's in Clemons. Any other times, it seems to be fine. I think I may have jinxed it when I was telling myself that it's been awhile the laptop didn't act up. Not even a beep! I ate First Wok food again today. I swear I have a hidden addiction to bubble tea. I buy so many bubble teas that I can literally pay their monthly rent. It's like an injection of heroine (or at least I think so, never really tried it before). Lan came back from her 3-month getaway in Europe. I'm kind of surprised that she survived, but good for her. It went by so fast it seems nothing has changed in my life. Is that good? or should I worry? Hmmm. But yeah, we said we'd go backpacking through Asia next year, so start saving money if you want to come. You can hop on the 3-month long trip or the modified version, which will last only 2-3 weeks. (Not everyone has the luxury of taking 3-months long vacations). Anyways, that's something to look forward to. Alright, I'm starting to yawn, so I should slowly head to bed. L8rs

Mood: Tired of 436

2005-04-22T18:16:00.000-04:00

I'm currently in my 436 meeting...gosh, we've been here for more than 4 hours!!! That's what happens to procrastination, I guess. My pooch (no, not my dog) and I had a really interesting conversation. There were some laughter, crying (not on my part though), jokes, etc... I think the most important thing was that we cleared the lines of communication and we now know where/how things will be later down the road. I did commit myself to a longer relationship, not by force, but rather by choice. (Sorry ladies, I will post a new blog when I'm single again, :P) It felt right after the talk. I wanted to talk more, but I was too tired. I'm going to meet the Sir Schmock, UK Ambassador of her "Majesty's" to the United States. I'm going to do it for my STS 402 class because it's a requirement. It should be interesting to hear how arrogant the UK is. I had an interview with the Patent Office this morning. I don't know exactly if I'm going to get the job or not, probably not. The interviewee didn't seem to like me. Oh well, I already have a job anyways. I'm wondering, however, in the likelihood of my getting a job, I will only get paid $33K, that really sucks! GPA-based starting salaries are crap because just because you have a high GPA doesn't mean that you know more than a person w/ a lesser GPA. In any case, if I do get the job, I don't think I'll take it. I'm getting paid waaayyy more at my current job and I don't want to have to commute 3 hrs each day just to/from work. I'm currently applying to the European Patent Office, hopefully, I can improve my german and also gain some valuable experience in the Patent world (the US isn't the ONLY country with a patent process). Maybe Pooker would want to come with me. Hmmm... In any case, I think I'd want to work for the EPO more than the USPTO. What else is new? I've rented three PS2 games yesterday and they all suck. The tennis game is so slow I dosed off, the soccer game is so boring that I also made me sleep, but then I got an summer olympics game, which includes track, swimming, gymnastic and all, i thought it was stupid at first, well it is...but then i got sort of addicted. so i'm pretty decently busy. LOL. alright, that's all i've got to say. peace out. se eyou tomorrow

First Blog

2005-04-20T20:21:00.000-04:00

This is my first new blog. "Blog", hmm..., never really thought what the word meant exactly. Oh well, that's only minor details. Today was a pretty uneventful day. I had a really good night of sleep last night. Although I was a little tired when I woke up, I had a good breakfast @ the Breakfast of "Champions" and watched the news until ~10 a.m. I then went to the Stacks in order to do my homeworks. Finished all of them, now I have a meeting for my project at 9 p.m. and then have to do an all-nighter for my "design" project. What a waste of my time. Gosh, I hate all my classes. I really think I may end my college career on academic probation. That really sucks. I hate all my classes and professors. Most of them are racist fags that I cannot stand. They think they're the greatest thing that ever happened to Earth. Oh well, all I really care about is doing well. I have so much anger inside of me that I don't know where to release it to. I should probably go to the gym, but I never have enough will power to do so (although it's right across the street, how sad is that?). I'm getting fat by the minute and all I eat are pizzas, chicken kickers (from Domino's, they're really good!), and every fatty stuff you can possibly imagine. I have a craving for literally all the crappy stuff out there. Now I know what pregnant women go through! Sike! My computer is making really funky noises, I think it's about to join the former Pope in the grave. Sometimes it starts, sometimes it doesn't. God knows when it's going to have its heart attack and never revive itself (that's after the tapping, the stomping, and kicking that it will have to endure, of course).

Rachana came down last weekend to see me. I felt kind of bad because I spent the entire Saturday taking a stupid exam that I didn't pass. God, I feel like a failure. 5 years of schooling and nothing in my head, it's completely empty! Oh well, that's not the point of this paragraph. The point is that we had a nice time. She wanted to have a picnic on the Lawn, I thought it was too public and cheesy. So we compromised on Panera Bread's outside patio. Still outside, right? hahaha. I know, I give in too easily to her caprices. Needless to say, we had a good time....well, that's until she had to leave.

Here comes the revealing part. As I near graduation, I am having mixed feelings about my relationship and my girlfriend. I mean, nothing negative per se, but more like worries and doubts. We definitely have talked about marriage and children and all. But, I don't know how things will go. I guess I'm a little scared and reserved about the idea since it's still couple years away, but I'm still having this feeling that hinders me. Have you ever had that feeling? One that you don't quite grasp, yet know it's something that you need to figure out? I don't know...it's strange. When she left for Greensboro, it's always this dull, sad feeling that I experience. It's like leaving something behind. At the same time, I don't know... We seem to be so different. I have always had this "vision" or idea of who I would end up with. Buddhist, Vietnamese, career-oriented, educated, beautiful, stylish, family-oriented, energetic, charismatic, athletic, outgoing, to name a few. It almost feels like I'm shaping Rachana to be who I want her to be, not who she really is. I feel at times that she does everything that I want and never really reveals her true personality. What if 10 years from now, she or i act differently? I must say I'm very materialistic and very concerned with the outside surface. I mean, it bothers me that she doesn't tweek her eyebrows, it bothers me that she isn't more trendy, more outgoing, more like my ideal girlfriend...sigh :( I feel shallow in many ways. She has compromised and sacrificed and really sees me for who I am. I'm saddened by the fact that I cannot do the same thing for her. Was it because we grew up in different backgrounds? Different environments? I don't know. I seriously can't ask more of her, when I'm in her presence, I really do enjoy the time we spend...but when I really focus about it, it's like something's missing. The topic of children, for instance, is going to be a problem. She wants 2, I want 4. She says she's cool with having 4, but I wonder if having 4 kids is my dream, not hers. I want it to be OUR dream, not mine only, you know? What about religion? Parents? Different races? It's just weird, I must say. Anyways, I guess I have a place to dump my feelings. I need to head to my meeting. See ya tomorrow.